Reprinted from the "Keepers of Lists" List of March 30, 1995
"Greetings, Net Wanderer, behold our humble list for March 30, 1995."
Top 138 Pick Up Lines That "Really" Work
1 That's a beautiful name. Do you have any German in you? Would you like some? - Eine echte Berliner
2 That's a lovely sweater you're wearing. How about a blowjob? - Peterborough types.
3 Hi - Simple Mind
4 Dinner first? No? Hey, if we're gonna have sex I gotta eat! - not a prayer
5 Hi...I lost my phone number, can I have yours? - Mark d. Maxson. 319-627-4418
6 The word of the day is legs. Lets go back to my place and spread the word. - horn toad
7 No pick up lines; simply SMILE. - anonymous
8 Let's play house, you be the door and I'll bang you. - Spawn
9 So you're 16, huh? - Redneck
10 Excuse me, sir...do you think you could help me with this? - Cyberwench
11 Hi. I'm green and soft. Would you like find out why? - Gumby
12 (Look her in the eyes)..."You are so pretty"...(sincerly) - Trust me guys - has never failed
13 I am the gatekeeper, are you the key master? - Zuul
14 "I don't have any line, I just thought you were beautiful and wanted to talk to you. - The 21st Century Digital Boy
15 Is it hot in here, or is it just you? - lambja@plu.edu (this one usually gets at least a smile... don't try this one on airheads)
16 So, what are the chances of my balls slappin' your ass tonight? - Bad Karma Boy
17 Your mouth looks awfully kissable. - Dizzy Dean
19 Come with me if you want to live. - The Terminator
20 "If I told you that you have a beatiful body, would you hold it against me?" - a bit more subtle
21 I really like your sweater...can I talk you out of it? - Hotman
22 Do you wanna play with my monkey? - David Letterman
23 You don't look too bright, but I bet you'd be a good f**k. - Champlain guy.
24 My name is Connor McLeod, and I canna die! - Highlander
26 I like the way your legs get together and make an ass out of themselves. - Pat
27 Wanna know why they call me the human tripod? - Big John
28 Would you come over and mend my boxer shorts for me? - K (it actually worked...)
29 You'll do. - Mr. Sensitivity
30 Hi, my name's _____; do you wanna dance? - Dance Floor is great place to meet people
31 Nice shoes, wanna fuck ? - muvebe
32 My bologna has a first name... - Homer Sexual
34 You know, for a fat ugly bitch, you sure don't sweat much. - <A HREF="http://jinx.umsl.edu/~s916753/real.html">Jason Jenkins</A>
35 I love every bone in your body.... including mine! - Bones
36 Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me? - Lonesome Bulldog
37 By the way, I had a vasectomy last month. - Risk Free
39 I am a Keeper. - keeper dave
40 want to go out for sex and pizza? what you don't pizza???? - kevin the lady killer
41 Great Dress. It will look even better in a ball by my bed. - Barney's Little Purple Friend
42 stroke it once if you want sex. stroke it 76 times if you don't. - macdick
44 No Postage Necessary if Nailed in the United States - anonymous
45 I'm 18 year old female asian looking for good time - It's true....
46 Wanna get a 6-pack and go to my truck and fuck or don't you drink? - truck driver
47 So, how do you like your eggs? Fertilized? - From 'Idiots handbook to sex'
48 Your feet must be really tired, because you've been running through my mind all day - She said it...
49 I vote Democratic because of my feeling of sexual inadequacy. - M. Gilbert
52 Are you lost?....I've never seen an Angel so far from heaven. - You laugh, it works!
54 Nice boots. They'd look even better beside my bed. - Kingston type.
55 You be Poland, I'll be Germany. - Boopsie
56 Come over and sit on my lap. We'll talk about whatever arises. - g. man
57 Hi, didn't we used to be lovers? - Warren Beatty
59 If I compliment your body, will you hold it against me? - Cheviot
60 You don't know me, but... - ever hopeful
61 Pssst! Want to buy some plutonium? - Boris Yeltsin
63 You remind me of a young Jody Foster - Prophet
67 My, what big breasts you have! - Hawkeye
67 WAIT, don't drink that. Don't you know that makes your chest grow to twice its
normal size? Oh, I'm sorry. I guess it's too late. - your gracious host, Jason Jenkins
68 Hi, my name is (your name here) and I have a job. - Mazzo
70 Wanna go to my place and surf the net? - connection NEVER refused by host.......
71 You have the most beautiful eyes...really! - grizzly
73 I hate cheesy pickup lines, don't you?? - Pub Crawler
75 So, now that Lyle's out of the picture, wanna go grab a brewski? - anon
76 Brace yourself, Sheila! - Mr. Australia
77 My name is Elmer J. Fudd. I own a mansion and a yatch. - dave
79 I've got a Jaguar and I only want to be held - The Millionaire
80 You look familiar... - k. bundy
82 So...tell me about *you* - Cyberchp
83 What's up, Doc? - Bugs Bunny
84 Let's have breakfast--shall I call you or nudge you? - Lounge Lizard
85 Would you like to come to my place for pizza and sex? What, you don't like pizza? - Hungry.
86 Want to see my floppy diks. - ooops, I hate typos.
87 Yes, I *AM* happy to see you - A happy guy.
88 Hello, LUNCH. - This worked for my X. (Of course, she's 5'10 and blonde).
90 Ummmm, you know, well, heh heh, umm, ahhh, hullo... - Umm, you know, well, heh heh, umm, Steve
91 Ever wondered why nobody likes you? - Newt Gingrich
92 I'm rich... - rich guy
93 You really like me. You just don't know it yet... - Dermoid Cyst Boy
96 Come with me to the motherland...I will be your überlover! - Ben Pohl (319) 627-4557
97 Are they your feet or are you wearing flippers? - Lloyd Bridges
98 What a Day! I just won the Lottery; now they say I have Cancer! ( How was your day? ) - Bitwise
99 You look younger than springtime and twice as exciting! - Been round the block
100 Was your father a thief? Cuz he stole the stars and put them in your eyes. - Chezmeister
101 I'm related to John Dillinger - Richard A. Plenty
102 Your eyes are as brown as the Rhein. - Nate
103 Hi. My name is Knut, and I have a bunny in my pants... - Bunny lover.
104 My friend call me CLUB - CLUB
105 Hey bitch lets get naked and fuck tonight!(never fails). - Franker
106 "You ain't a beauty, but hey, you're alright" - THE BOSS
107 You're gorgeous; it's just that I recently realized I'm gay. - The Reverse Psychologist
108 Hi , my name is Zippy . Are you mad or blind? - Zippy
109 Woofa soun is woofin round - La Taiga from Riga
110 What's your favourite suicide fantasy? - meta
111 Let me teach you how to format the hard drive - Creative Dreamer
112 Hi, wanna come over to my place and look at the cracks in the ceiling? - Smoothie
113 Wanna come over and shave my back sometime - Harry Armes
114 Say, you don't sweat much considering your weight - tasteless
115 Don't eat that, it'll make your breasts grow - oops too late - Chris
116 Sorry I kept you waiting.......(followed by a drink!) - The Jizz Bunny
117 If I said you had a beautiful body, would you throw it on top of me? - Mr. Not-Too-Subtle
118 I'd like to know a pick up line that really works! - budd
119 I haven't been with a woman since before AIDS was discovered. - Truthful
120 You remind me of a former girl/boyfriend... - Hurt and Lonely
121 what's your favorite letter, mine is U - baldy
122 Nice monitor... is that 17 inches? - lindust
123 Hi, I'm Bill Clinton - works for him
124 Great choice of clothes, they match the trim in the Jag - gannet
125 Hey, doll, is this guy boring you? Why don't you come with me -- I'm from another planet. - Phil
126 So, ready to go yet? - Al
127 Would you like a car? - K2
128 Hi, my name is Ron Jeremy. (it *must* work) - Rush is Right
129 your earings are the mirrors which reflect the moonlight into your eyes - hard to be smooth
130 Your Dad stole my shoes! - Kevin D.
131 Hi! My name is Forrest Gump and I want YOU in my next movie! - Made_It_Ma!!!
132 I not gay, but I'd sleep with Elvis. Would you?? - Christian Slater
133 You know, you remind me of my mum. - Andy
134 Hey, I make 100 thousand dollars a year, my friend here makes movies, you want a drink? - Always works
137 PBR ME ASAP - Norm
138 Yo, how about a case of schlitz, if you go out with me? - craig